"It takes 20 years to make an overnight success."

 

Eddie Cantor

 

 

 

Why change is so hard...

Homoeostasis – The physiological set points designed to work against coaches!
Or “Why change is so hard!”

Homoeostasis is defined as:

n. automatic maintenance by an organism of normal temperature, chemical balance, etc., within itself. homoeostat, n. machine capable of same kind of self-regulation.

Think of yourself as the ultimate homoeostat. Boy, are we human beings great at staying the same! Physiologically and psychologically we have many systems designed to prevent us from changing. Physiologically we maintain our blood sugar, temperature, weight, calorie intake and many more potentially reactive systems from an unconscious centre.

Psychologically we do exactly the same thing. Change means danger to our psyche/ego and must be avoided at all costs. The greater the change, the greater the perceived danger, the greater the defensive moves. We will, albeit probably unconsciously, sabotage any attempts to make a major change.

Personally, I explain this to my clients – forewarned is forearmed as they say. Understanding what is happening is empowering. It only takes a few seconds to explain and then get back to the coaching. To overcome this we must align the brain with the heart and soul! We are capable of creating exactly that which our self image sees us capable of creating. Beyond our current self image we are like an extended rubber band – dependent on sheer force to stay extended and needing even more force to extend further. As soon as we lose our concentration (read: grip!) we shoot back to where we were – possibly slightly bigger than we were but with loss of tensile strength as a result of the growth. (It can also be pretty painful letting go of an elastic band).

So how to change with grace and ease? Well, there are many approaches to this question - too many to answer fully here. But here is one of my favourites:

Intend it to be easy!

We "know" change is hard, don't we? It is something we tell oursleves - "Well, it was always going to be a struggle." It is like we make excuses for NOT changing before we geta round to starting. WE assume a long time for change and we assume it will be tricky - that we may falter and that we may somehow just not be up to the job!

Imagine that you made the change or achieved the goal. How does it feel now that you have what you wnated? What are the feelings that you experience as you see, hear and feel yourself having made the changes that you want to see? Spend a minute breathing in those feelings - really look at the world through the eyes of the person who has that goal.

Smile as you realise how easy it was. Feel the sense of relief, joy, freedom ... whatever the feelings were ... coming up through you and just wallow in them. Don't do anything now that will get you into your head. just practice being in that state for a few minutes a couple of times a day and then when you achieve it easily, let ideas for actions just come up. Let your unconscious make suggestions to you - it is a slightly trancelike state and you will be really creative there. Keep intending that the change will be easy and don't force it - you are expanding your self image and raising your creativity - not to mention experiencing the fulfilemnt that you believe the goal will give you.

Coaches tip: I often get mt clients to do this during the session and then coach them as if they are already in possession of the goal - in the past tense: "What did you do ..." "Which steps were the most potent ..." The client is in a creative, fulfilled state and will come up with wonderful suggestions.

 

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