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The "Success from Within" Newsletter
September 2006

News I Upcoming Events I Article - Emotional Spending I Coaching Opportunities

News

September is very much the second "1st of January" of the year! Many people, fresh from some time off and faced with a new school year feel inspired to re-evaluate the year and even their lives and aspirations. August definitely had that effect on me as usual - it helped me to take stock, recharge and make myself and the world some new promises. I am having fun clarifying those and acting on them.

There also seems to be a lot of confusion in the air - people feeling that they want to live more deeply, make a greater difference or just find more of what really matters to them - but not feeling very sure about what they really want to do or where their true potential lies. If any of these are true for you, then consider some coaching this autumn.

Have a great month!

Lisa x

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" I've come to realise that there's nothing like being in touch with my inner rebel to make a girl feel really good."

Tory Young, Red Magazine on her coaching with Lisa

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“Overcoming Emotional Spending”

There are times in your life when everything seems to flow with such grace and ease that even really hard work feels effortless. When you can write freely and fluently or run faster than usual with less pain and panting – whatever it is that you do well just seems to be easier and more fluent. I guess most of us at least have experienced that sort of feeling.

And then there are the days when things seem – well, hard! Everything seems difficult, the words won’t flow, a hill seems to have appeared on your running route and everything you touch seems to challenge you further.

The same seems true of emotions – even if you are usually calm and happy, once something upsets your equilibrium it can be difficult sometimes to turn it around and get back to the calm, happy feeling you probably value very much.

There are times when the absolutely “right” thing to do is to wallow in those emotions – to really experience the emotion strongly and be with it can be hugely healing. To always swap the emotion to one that is happy and positive can actually be like sticking a big plaster over an unhealthy wound and pretend it isn’t there. Whilst you may be able to carry on with life, it is gently simmering away below the plaster and risks infection, deepening and decreased long term healing.

In really feeling your feelings and learning that you can cope with fear, anger and all those emotions which we tend to label as “negative”, we start to realise that it is okay to feel them. They become part of the rich tapestry and texture of life – sometimes I am angry and sometimes I am calm and sometimes I might be really, really furious about something.

Of course there are times also when it is best to raise your mood rather than stay with the emotion. Lifting your mood to one of positivity actually raises your intuition and creativity and therefore your ability to find a workable solution to the issue in mind.

This article is about those times when you feel that the best thing for you is to actually feel the feelings.

Many people live with a sense of fear about money – specialist companies spend a fortune advertising to such people and playing on these fears. Ironically, a large number of people in these conditions actually tend to spend money to help them to feel better. Exactly the same thing can be true of comfort eaters – they feel miserable about something, possibly even their weight issues – and so they eat to help them feel differently – anything but feel the fear or self loathing or whatever the “negative” emotion is.

Often people cannot even voice what the emotion is – they just feel uncomfortable and want to feel differently. It has become an ingrained, automatic response – discomfort -> eat or spend or whatever the default behaviour is. Any amount of financial planning is not going to help the person who spends to feel better.

The following is an approach we use to helping with this emotional response – it doesn’t aim to cover up or eliminate the emotion; instead it aims to teach people that they are okay with the emotion – and that tends to make a massive difference to the behaviour. Try it alone or with support. It is set up for spending habits but adapt it for whatever you want to change:

Exercise:

1. Imagine that you just got the urge to go and spend some money. Really feel the emotions that come up as you consider spending money.
2. Now, in your mind “don’t spend”. Sit still and imagine not making that purchase. Really live it in your mind and feel the feelings that come up as you “don’t spend money”.
3. Name the emotion.
4. Turn it up – imagine having a button to help you to turn up the intensity of the feeling. Don’t dwell, feel it strongly for a few seconds and then breathe it out strongly.
5. Now feel for the next feeling – what comes up next for you. Again name it, turn it up and then breathe it out.
6. Keep going until you start you feel some ease around it – most people get to a place where they have breathed through all of the darker feeling emotions and have a sense of ease.
7. Practice – doing it in your mind on a daily basis for a while helps to get it into the muscle – a real feeling that you can “not spend”. Then put it into physical practice.

This exercise is another example of how working with our relationship with money can have deep and profound effects on our emotional and spiritual wellbeing as well as our financial picture.

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Coaching Opportunities:

If you are ready to make some changes or just want to explore yourself and your life more deeply, then the Prosperity Coaching Co team are here for you - you can work with Lisa or any of the team.To organise a complimentary coaching session with a coach, please contact us as per the details below.

Lisa works with businesses, corporations and individuals who are ready to create fresh new thinking and lucrative, fulfilling work and businesses. She is challenging, warm, funny and according to two clients she "oozes possiblity" and is a "deep soul diver". Her coaching services are for those people and businesses ready to think differently and claim fabulous new results.

Please forward this newsletter to colleagues, friends and clients who you feel would benefit from it. You may reproduce anything from this newsletter as long as it retains full contact details. If in any doubt please email lisa@prosperitycoaching.com. Thank you.

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